I watched you approach as my friend was talking to me about something related to the labor union march we had both just participated in. I don’t know, I tuned him out. Your face and your bearing struck me and I could not take my eyes off your face. You walked up, stood next to us, your eyes intently on the screen, looking at the time or the schedule being displayed. Not once did your eyes flick over at me or my friend. Not once did you even pretend to notice us.
I noticed you. I noticed that your hair is more blonde than the auburn it was when we were together, but still pulled back in a simple ponytail. You were dressed well - but that is not a change. Your eyes were as pale green as ever, and there was the slight smile I remember very well.
I must have been staring. In almost any other circumstance I would expect a stranger to take offense at my staring. I had stopped talking to my friend. I may have even held my breath upon recognizing you. Yes this is the woman I loved, or thought I’d loved, or pretended to love, right up until I didn’t any more. I stared at you from just a few feet away. But you did not acknowledge me.
I wish I’d stopped and said your name. I wish, now, that I had tried to at least say hello, and to wish you well. Wish you and him well. Maybe if I can be sincere and give you and him my best… But I’d be doing it for selfish reasons.
I’d be doing it to unburden myself. I ain’t no saint, after all. And I’m sure you generate your own well-wishes, more than enough for you and him and those you love.
Best of luck to you, and him, and everyone in your life. I’m sorry I missed the chance to tell you to your face. I held my breath.
